Our SML order is due to arrive today (in fact it arrived whilst typing this post) so I’ve just spent the past hour cleaning out the kitchen as I need to make a space for our packs and also as we’re off to my sister’s tomorrow and start the day we get back, I needed to clear out any leftover food. All the tins, packs of dried food etc. have been bagged up to take down to my sister’s for the food bank she helps to run, the fridge is almost empty and anything that is left will be thrown away and the freezer is nearly empty but any left over meat can stay in there, it’s all chicken and turkey so I could have it for a protein meal every so often. I’ve cleared out two drawers for us to store all our packs in, one drawer each. Shakers have been ordered and one has arrived so far. We’re all ready for it.
Up until now starting SML has been something that I’ve been quiet excited about, I’ve actually genuinely been looking forward to it but now that it’s almost time those feelings are dying down and they’re being replaced by new ones, not so good ones. Instead of feeling like I’m ready for it, like we’re going to do really well and that this time I’ll actually do it, I’ll actually get to where I want to be and not just half way there I’m doubting myself. I don’t doubt I’ve made the right decision, I know that SML is what I need to do but I’m doubting whether I’m really cut out for it. I’ve been here, done it and got the t-shirt that says I’ve never been able to stick at it long enough to finish what I start and a major part of me now thinks why will this time be any different? What if all I do is fail. Again. Thing is, this time I don’t have time to fail as it’s 7 and a half months until our wedding and in that time I want to lose probably around 5 and a half stone. I don’t want to be a fat bride. I don’t want to feel self-conscious and dread the photos, I want to look back at them and remember what an amazing day I had, not look at them and just think how fat I look. So this time I have to do it, there’s no time for tomorrow, there’s no time for oh a little gain this week won’t hurt. I’ve got one shot at having the wedding that I want, we both need to do all we can to be the people that we want to be for it. The fridge will be empty, the cupboards will be bare and we’ll have each other for constant support so really, why can’t we do it? We can. We will. We have to.
Slimming Down The Aisle 